house

I vaguely recall a question on a behavioral sciences exam a few years back asking what the most stressful life change involved (on some “proven” psychiatrist’s scale I am sure) and getting the question wrong. I think it offered a) marriage b) moving c) something else privileged people like to stress out about. These days, I cannot be any more convinced that B is the exact right answer. Empirically proven day and day again. Let me tell you, my rock hard façade is showing a little tectonic shift over here. My impenetrable resolve weakens every time a subcontractor triples his bid or the time it takes to do the project. I acknowledge this house is old, but are they just trying to correct my overly visionary ambition or something?

Last weekend, husBen and I went to the city dump more times in one day than I previously thought possible. We even started to think it was kind of fun, as each time we pulled up, we would get to borrow hard hats and neon vests in order to safely pitch refuse off into a smelly abyss. It is funny what new home-owners get prideful about: we went to the city dump 4 times today, how exciting!

We closed on Friday, and by Saturday morning, several of our family members and over-indulgent friends descended upon the house like a swarm of adderalled worker bees. We chopped up ivy, spread mulch, hauled limbs away, fixed siding, and a litany of other things I hardly registered. This house needed love, but even more love than just husBen and I could offer. While we were working, my big brother texted me a reeaaaal casual question: How do you know God exists? I looked around me: at my “new” home in Houston TX, my healthy husband, my mom and dad and mother-in-law and practically-mother Mrs. Janet, at my friend Mel (each covered in layers upon layers of dirt/mulch/who-knows-what) working so hard for no other reason that they love us extravagantly. I could not, on my own, have orchestrated such provision. In fact, for each hard task in life I continually sign up for, God provides the very strength and support necessary to run hard through it. So the answer to Miles’s question merits more than a text; it merits a look at the lives God is present in and knowledge of whose eyes are interpreting that presence. These eyes see God’s reality with humility (listen, I know my vices) and gratitude (awe that He even cares). I wonder, how do you know?

do we look excited? or scared...

early morning at the dump

proof 

More pictures to come…and hopefully soon some pictures of our first opportunity to cook there!

some things are just beautiful

Quick recipe for the perfect summer pizza...

Homemade dough

Fontina, grated

Grilled peaches (toss 2 sliced peaches with a tablespoon of canola oil and grill each side)

Thyme, chopped, preferably fresh out of the garden

Bacon

Aged Balsamic, drizzled on right at the end

Pizza dough:

1 ¼ cups warm (100 to 110 degrees F) water

2 packages dry yeast

1 tablespoon honey

3 tablespoons good olive oil

4 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for kneading

2 teaspoons kosher salt

Combine water, yeast, honey, and olive oil in the bowl of your stand mixer fitted with a dough hook. Stir briefly (just about 2 second will do) then allow to sit for 10 minutes. Mix 3 cups flour and salt in a separate bowl. Add mixture to yeast mixture in the bowl and turn on your mixer to medium speed. Add in the remaining cup of flour and continue to knead on low speed for about 10 minutes until dough is smooth (you may need to sprinkle in more flour to keep it from sticking to the sides).

Remove bowl from stand, cover with a dishcloth, and allow the dough to rest at room temperature for 1-3 hours.

When you are ready to prepare the pizza, divide the dough in half and stretch out (or roll out) your pizza to desired size. Brush the top with olive oil then allow it to rest 15-30 more minutes before cooking.

Meanwhile, fire up your grill and allow it to reach high heat. When ready, turn dough out directly onto grill. Brush top (it will be the opposite side now) with olive oil. Cook for about 1-2 minutes (lift up the edges a little to check it and make sure it is not completely charring). Flip the pizza carefully. Top with ingredients of choice and cook 1-2 more minutes.

Remove promptly from grill and dive in!

Let my gratitude not (always) be in retrospect

I cannot even imagine what it would take to raise tiny humans into adequate adults. I wasn’t even so sure I could keep myself and husBen alive and well during our first year of medical school/law school when our firm repose occasionally deteriorated into childish histrionics (there were some tears and gnashing of teeth, mostly mine). Yet, mothers deal with irrationality at all ages and tirelessly rise to the occasion to come to the rescue. Good job, moms.

I have seen this parenting thing a touch more clearly in these last few years as some of my close friends and sister-in-laws have had their own babies. I realize now that these super-hero moms are still human at base and struggle the same way we (non-parents) do with a difficult task (theirs being living and breathing of course). I see, however, that I cannot claim to understand the unconditional nature of their love until I have my own kids; there seems to be no choice involved in whether or not they will wake up at all hours of the night for a kid in need, whether or not they will shell out their life savings to educate and/or bail out a kid, and whether or not they will clean up this or that thing that their kid projectiles out of any orifice. I cannot boast of that stage of understanding quite yet, full of its wholeness, its joys, and its inherent grip so tight around your heart it just scares me.

I got to spend Mother’s Day with all three of my “mothers” this weekend at the bay: my very own mom, the strongest, most selfless woman I know; my mom’s best friend Mrs. Janet, who was present in most of my childhood memories actually, and my mother-in-law Mrs. Patti (seriously how did I get so lucky with you?). I just want to say I love you ladies. You have greatly shaped the woman I am today (so, I credit you for my sass and my energy) and I hope one day to become a mother half as good. 

on the road to the bay

don't let Quimby fool you,
he loves a good road trip with his sister Eleanor

almost stepped on a water moccasin on this walk in Lamar!

I whipped up this pie for our Mother's Day meal together (literally, whipping is about as complex as the recipe gets) and I would highly recommend it for those Nutella lovers out there. It's at least 1% better than eating the Nutella straight out of the jar with a spoon...

so rich, so so rich

Nutella Pie with toasted hazelnuts

For the crust:

2 cups chocolate cookies, ground in the food processor

1 stick of butter, melted

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Combine cookie crumbs (I used oreos and scraped out the white frosting from the inside (which I would not recommend eating all at once) and butter in a small bowl and mix together until it resembles wet sand. Spray a pie plate with non-stick spray and press crust mixture firmly down into plate and up against the sides (use a wide spoon). Chill for at least 15 minutes prior to baking. When ready, bake for 10 minutes then allow to cool completely before adding in filling.

For the filling:

2 cups Nutella

1 1/2 cups mascarpone (Italian cream cheese)

1/4 teaspoon of salt

handful of hazelnuts, toasted and chopped

In the bowl of a stand mixer, whip Nutella, mascarpone, and salt on high until fluffy, about 2-4 minutes. Pour fluffy filling into cooled pie crust. Top with toasted hazelnuts. Cool for about 1 hour in refrigerator prior to serving. See that wasn't hard...

Plasticity

This morning was perfect for a run; I snuck out of the house without waking up husBen or the dogs to a brisk 55 degrees outside, with a dark blue sky indicative of the hour. I meet my friend Leah a couple times a week to run the trail around Memorial Park, and this first day of my month off was no different.

Except that it was. When I arrived, for no reason at all, she suggested we run it in the opposite direction. Excuse me, but to a creature of habit and (confession?) an addictive personality, this seemed like a big deal to me at 6 o’clock this morning. I didn’t really have any strong emotion yet though, as I had not chugged my usual coffee on the way over, so I agreed.

As we were running, I felt myself more observant of my surroundings as I was trying to gauge our distance along the path in reverse: I noticed the trees and the people and most poignantly that moment when the color scheme switched from the warm yellow of the street lamps to a cool blue of the day waking up. And the sunrise over the this city, MY city, made me just want to throw my hands up to it in grateful reception (except that I didn’t want to draw attention to myself this early in the morning), as if to say, “thanks for helping me see life differently!”

Okay, okay, I can be a bit dramatic in reflection, but the point is that I need to appreciate change and transition and the new as I step into this next phase of life. A residency where my assignment changes by the month practically mandates adaptability. Made me wonder, how much in life do we forfeit in addiction to our routines?

Every Monday night, we do homemade pizza with the Roesers, a couple we met in our church a few years ago. Caroline usually makes the dough, then we come up with toppings based on what we’ve got handy in our refrigerators that week: roasted cherry tomatoes and burst burrata, (or) shrimp, bacon, eggplant and basil, (or) red onion, rosemary, parmesan and pistachios. A couple weeks ago, we decided to divert from the norm and declared it Thai Night. Bon Appetit did a spread in their March issue so we played with the recipes and again, found ourselves thankful for a little mix-up in the routine (lookie there, I am training for residency)…

massaman chicken

green mango salad

toasted coconut sundaes with candied peanuts

These recipes can be found at:

http://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/massaman-chicken

http://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/green-mango-salad

http://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/toasted-coconut-sundaes-with-candied-peanuts