house

I vaguely recall a question on a behavioral sciences exam a few years back asking what the most stressful life change involved (on some “proven” psychiatrist’s scale I am sure) and getting the question wrong. I think it offered a) marriage b) moving c) something else privileged people like to stress out about. These days, I cannot be any more convinced that B is the exact right answer. Empirically proven day and day again. Let me tell you, my rock hard façade is showing a little tectonic shift over here. My impenetrable resolve weakens every time a subcontractor triples his bid or the time it takes to do the project. I acknowledge this house is old, but are they just trying to correct my overly visionary ambition or something?

Last weekend, husBen and I went to the city dump more times in one day than I previously thought possible. We even started to think it was kind of fun, as each time we pulled up, we would get to borrow hard hats and neon vests in order to safely pitch refuse off into a smelly abyss. It is funny what new home-owners get prideful about: we went to the city dump 4 times today, how exciting!

We closed on Friday, and by Saturday morning, several of our family members and over-indulgent friends descended upon the house like a swarm of adderalled worker bees. We chopped up ivy, spread mulch, hauled limbs away, fixed siding, and a litany of other things I hardly registered. This house needed love, but even more love than just husBen and I could offer. While we were working, my big brother texted me a reeaaaal casual question: How do you know God exists? I looked around me: at my “new” home in Houston TX, my healthy husband, my mom and dad and mother-in-law and practically-mother Mrs. Janet, at my friend Mel (each covered in layers upon layers of dirt/mulch/who-knows-what) working so hard for no other reason that they love us extravagantly. I could not, on my own, have orchestrated such provision. In fact, for each hard task in life I continually sign up for, God provides the very strength and support necessary to run hard through it. So the answer to Miles’s question merits more than a text; it merits a look at the lives God is present in and knowledge of whose eyes are interpreting that presence. These eyes see God’s reality with humility (listen, I know my vices) and gratitude (awe that He even cares). I wonder, how do you know?

do we look excited? or scared...

early morning at the dump

proof 

More pictures to come…and hopefully soon some pictures of our first opportunity to cook there!

some things are just beautiful

Quick recipe for the perfect summer pizza...

Homemade dough

Fontina, grated

Grilled peaches (toss 2 sliced peaches with a tablespoon of canola oil and grill each side)

Thyme, chopped, preferably fresh out of the garden

Bacon

Aged Balsamic, drizzled on right at the end

Pizza dough:

1 ¼ cups warm (100 to 110 degrees F) water

2 packages dry yeast

1 tablespoon honey

3 tablespoons good olive oil

4 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for kneading

2 teaspoons kosher salt

Combine water, yeast, honey, and olive oil in the bowl of your stand mixer fitted with a dough hook. Stir briefly (just about 2 second will do) then allow to sit for 10 minutes. Mix 3 cups flour and salt in a separate bowl. Add mixture to yeast mixture in the bowl and turn on your mixer to medium speed. Add in the remaining cup of flour and continue to knead on low speed for about 10 minutes until dough is smooth (you may need to sprinkle in more flour to keep it from sticking to the sides).

Remove bowl from stand, cover with a dishcloth, and allow the dough to rest at room temperature for 1-3 hours.

When you are ready to prepare the pizza, divide the dough in half and stretch out (or roll out) your pizza to desired size. Brush the top with olive oil then allow it to rest 15-30 more minutes before cooking.

Meanwhile, fire up your grill and allow it to reach high heat. When ready, turn dough out directly onto grill. Brush top (it will be the opposite side now) with olive oil. Cook for about 1-2 minutes (lift up the edges a little to check it and make sure it is not completely charring). Flip the pizza carefully. Top with ingredients of choice and cook 1-2 more minutes.

Remove promptly from grill and dive in!

Let my gratitude not (always) be in retrospect

I cannot even imagine what it would take to raise tiny humans into adequate adults. I wasn’t even so sure I could keep myself and husBen alive and well during our first year of medical school/law school when our firm repose occasionally deteriorated into childish histrionics (there were some tears and gnashing of teeth, mostly mine). Yet, mothers deal with irrationality at all ages and tirelessly rise to the occasion to come to the rescue. Good job, moms.

I have seen this parenting thing a touch more clearly in these last few years as some of my close friends and sister-in-laws have had their own babies. I realize now that these super-hero moms are still human at base and struggle the same way we (non-parents) do with a difficult task (theirs being living and breathing of course). I see, however, that I cannot claim to understand the unconditional nature of their love until I have my own kids; there seems to be no choice involved in whether or not they will wake up at all hours of the night for a kid in need, whether or not they will shell out their life savings to educate and/or bail out a kid, and whether or not they will clean up this or that thing that their kid projectiles out of any orifice. I cannot boast of that stage of understanding quite yet, full of its wholeness, its joys, and its inherent grip so tight around your heart it just scares me.

I got to spend Mother’s Day with all three of my “mothers” this weekend at the bay: my very own mom, the strongest, most selfless woman I know; my mom’s best friend Mrs. Janet, who was present in most of my childhood memories actually, and my mother-in-law Mrs. Patti (seriously how did I get so lucky with you?). I just want to say I love you ladies. You have greatly shaped the woman I am today (so, I credit you for my sass and my energy) and I hope one day to become a mother half as good. 

on the road to the bay

don't let Quimby fool you,
he loves a good road trip with his sister Eleanor

almost stepped on a water moccasin on this walk in Lamar!

I whipped up this pie for our Mother's Day meal together (literally, whipping is about as complex as the recipe gets) and I would highly recommend it for those Nutella lovers out there. It's at least 1% better than eating the Nutella straight out of the jar with a spoon...

so rich, so so rich

Nutella Pie with toasted hazelnuts

For the crust:

2 cups chocolate cookies, ground in the food processor

1 stick of butter, melted

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Combine cookie crumbs (I used oreos and scraped out the white frosting from the inside (which I would not recommend eating all at once) and butter in a small bowl and mix together until it resembles wet sand. Spray a pie plate with non-stick spray and press crust mixture firmly down into plate and up against the sides (use a wide spoon). Chill for at least 15 minutes prior to baking. When ready, bake for 10 minutes then allow to cool completely before adding in filling.

For the filling:

2 cups Nutella

1 1/2 cups mascarpone (Italian cream cheese)

1/4 teaspoon of salt

handful of hazelnuts, toasted and chopped

In the bowl of a stand mixer, whip Nutella, mascarpone, and salt on high until fluffy, about 2-4 minutes. Pour fluffy filling into cooled pie crust. Top with toasted hazelnuts. Cool for about 1 hour in refrigerator prior to serving. See that wasn't hard...

Plasticity

This morning was perfect for a run; I snuck out of the house without waking up husBen or the dogs to a brisk 55 degrees outside, with a dark blue sky indicative of the hour. I meet my friend Leah a couple times a week to run the trail around Memorial Park, and this first day of my month off was no different.

Except that it was. When I arrived, for no reason at all, she suggested we run it in the opposite direction. Excuse me, but to a creature of habit and (confession?) an addictive personality, this seemed like a big deal to me at 6 o’clock this morning. I didn’t really have any strong emotion yet though, as I had not chugged my usual coffee on the way over, so I agreed.

As we were running, I felt myself more observant of my surroundings as I was trying to gauge our distance along the path in reverse: I noticed the trees and the people and most poignantly that moment when the color scheme switched from the warm yellow of the street lamps to a cool blue of the day waking up. And the sunrise over the this city, MY city, made me just want to throw my hands up to it in grateful reception (except that I didn’t want to draw attention to myself this early in the morning), as if to say, “thanks for helping me see life differently!”

Okay, okay, I can be a bit dramatic in reflection, but the point is that I need to appreciate change and transition and the new as I step into this next phase of life. A residency where my assignment changes by the month practically mandates adaptability. Made me wonder, how much in life do we forfeit in addiction to our routines?

Every Monday night, we do homemade pizza with the Roesers, a couple we met in our church a few years ago. Caroline usually makes the dough, then we come up with toppings based on what we’ve got handy in our refrigerators that week: roasted cherry tomatoes and burst burrata, (or) shrimp, bacon, eggplant and basil, (or) red onion, rosemary, parmesan and pistachios. A couple weeks ago, we decided to divert from the norm and declared it Thai Night. Bon Appetit did a spread in their March issue so we played with the recipes and again, found ourselves thankful for a little mix-up in the routine (lookie there, I am training for residency)…

massaman chicken

green mango salad

toasted coconut sundaes with candied peanuts

These recipes can be found at:

http://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/massaman-chicken

http://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/green-mango-salad

http://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/toasted-coconut-sundaes-with-candied-peanuts

house on the mind

husBen and I are pretty obsessed with this house thing right now. We both signed up for Pinterest (sorry to expose you, husBen) and have been sending each other ideas throughout the day: leather couches and industrial lighting, covetable ranges and beautiful showers. We are dreaming and we know it, of the carrot at the end of a long stick (like several years long, eh, maybe a decade).

Fixing up this house to be our home is going to be quite the project. This is that time of our life wherein we should share a Blizzard from Dairy Queen (well we would if we could even find one in the loop) and call it “date night,” wherein I get really creative with leftovers, and wherein we pare down our wants for the sake of our needs. This is that time when young marrieds bond over paint colors and ramen and yard work.

I realize these periods of life might be more valued in retrospect, like once we survive the stress of being house-poor and we can look back at our youth and think how far we’ve come since those days of “walking uphill both ways in the freezing snow” type thoughts, but I want to remain thankful for this time while I am in it! While I am sitting in my very own first house, inside walls that we will have painted ourselves! I am truly excited, can you tell?

All that said, I was in a different place a few weeks ago when I got a little indulgent with food and decided to make a rack of lamb and homemade pasta for dinner. Sometimes the difference between wants and needs is just so blurry to me!

sometimes the effort is worth it

Herb Crusted Rack of Lamb

1 rack of lamb (8 bones, frenched)

kosher salt and pepper

olive oil (about 3-4 tablespoons total)

2 tablespoons butter

3 garlic cloves

2 teaspoons capers (drained)

¾ cup Panko bread crumbs

1 ½ tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped

2 teaspoons fresh rosemary, finely chopped

Preheat oven to 425 F. Score the fat covering the meat on the lamb rack in a crosshatch pattern (careful not to slice all the way down to the meat). Season the lamb on both sides lightly with salt and pepper. Heat 1-2 tablespoons of olive oil in a skillet over med-high heat and place the rack fat side down in the pan. Sear until golden brown, about 2-3 minutes, then transfer to a roasting pan.

Now for the crust: combine butter, 1 ½ tablespoons of olive oil, garlic and capers in the bowl of a small food processor and pulse until roughly combined (there should still be small chunks of capers). Transfer the mixture to a small bowl and add the panko, rosemary and parsley and fold the mixture together until small clumps form. 

Gently press the crust mixture evenly over the lamb (on the seared fat side). Roast the lamb in the preheated oven, for 25-30 minutes or until a meat thermometer registers 128 degrees F. Remove from the oven and allow the lamb to rest for 20 minutes (it will be medium rare) before serving.

slice between the bones for individual servings

Orecchiette Carbonara with Charred Brussels Sprouts

From Bon Appétit

½ lb. brussels sprouts, trimmed, leaves separated

12 oz. fresh orecchiette (see Fresh Pasta recipe below)

Kosher salt

2 oz. pancetta (Italian bacon), finely chopped (about ¼ cup)

½ tsp. coarsely ground black pepper

¼ cup (½ stick) unsalted butter, cut into pieces

⅓ cup grated Pecorino plus more

2 large egg yolks, beaten to blend

2 Tbsp. olive oil, divided

Heat 1 Tbsp. oil in a large skillet over high heat. Working in batches, add brussels sprout leaves and cook, tossing occasionally, until charred in spots and crisp-tender, about 5 minutes; transfer to a plate and set aside. Wipe out skillet.

Cook pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water, stirring occasionally, until al dente (about 5 minutes for fresh pasta). Drain, reserving 1 cup pasta cooking liquid.

Meanwhile, heat remaining 1 Tbsp. oil in same skillet over medium heat. Add guanciale and cook, stirring often, until slightly crisp, about 4 minutes. Add pepper and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Immediately add ½ cup pasta cooking liquid to keep pepper from burning; reduce heat to low and gradually add butter, swirling skillet and adding more pasta cooking liquid as needed, until a thick, glossy sauce forms. (Taste as you go and switch to hot water once sauce is adequately seasoned.)

Add pasta to skillet and toss to coat. Add Pecorino; toss to combine. Remove from heat; mix in egg yolks. Add reserved brussels sprout leaves; toss, adding pasta cooking liquid (or hot water) as needed to thin sauce.

Serve pasta immediately, topped with more Pecorino.

Fresh Pasta

From Bon Appétit

just do it

1 cup plus 2 tablespoons all purpose flour

1 cup semolina flour

Combine AP flour and semolina flour in a large bowl. Bring a small saucepan of water to a bare simmer. Add ⅔ cup hot water to flours and mix with a fork until mixture just comes together. Turn out dough onto a surface lightly dusted with AP flour and knead until smooth and elastic, 8–10 minutes (alternatively, using a stand mixer fitted with a dough hook, mix on low speed, about 5 minutes). Wrap tightly in plastic wrap; let sit 1 hour at room temperature.

Next, form the pasta into orecchiette by pulling off a small chunk, rolling it into a thin snake (about 1 cm in diameter) then slicing it into small disks. Flatten each disc by dragging the flat part of a knife over it in a fluid motion towards you (or you can smash each piece with your thumb then crimp it in half).

Alternative…buy fresh pasta at the closest grocer!

BFD

Breakfast For Dinner is just so perfect sometimes. 

I know that Whataburger sells these, but I am convinced these tasted better, if not solely by the fact that I gently breaded the chicken with my own hands and carefully shaped each biscuit (with enough butter to scare just about anyone). This dinner had me drooling and greedily reaching for seconds, only loosely trying to reign in my satisfaction since we had guests at the table.

And another (fairly solid) great accomplishment I must share….

home sweet future home

After weeks of searching and fretting and driving up and down streets until we wanted to hurl, we finally found it…our first home! I share this news tenuously because we just have a contract on it at this point, so I will not really feel like it’s ours ‘til we close. ‘Til we sleep in it. ‘Til our dogs run around in the little backyard. I will keep ya’ll posted…

For now, feed the people you love breakfast for dinner. I promise they will drool.

Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit

Adapted slightly from Bon Appetit

Chicken cutlets:

1 ¼ cup buttermilk

1 tablespoon hot sauce

1 teaspoon kosher salt

½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper

4 skinless, boneless chicken cutlets (about 1 ½ pounds total), pounded to ¼” thickness

Honey butter and assembly:

1 stick butter, room temp

1/3 cup honey

½ teaspoon kosher salt, plus more

Vegetable oil (for frying; about 2 1/2 cups)

2 cups panko (Japanese breadcrumbs)

½ teaspoon smoked paprika

½ teaspoon garlic salt

Freshly ground black pepper

4 large biscuits

Hot sauce (for serving)

For chicken cutlets: Combine buttermilk, hot sauce, salt, black pepper, and cayenne in a large ziplock bag; add chicken. Seal bag, turn to coat, and chill 3-8 hours (at least 3).

For honey butter and assembly: Mix butter, honey, and 1/2 teaspoon salt in a small bowl until smooth; set aside.

Pour oil into a large skillet, preferably cast iron, to a depth of 1/2" and heat over medium-high heat until oil bubbles immediately when a little panko is added.

Meanwhile, place panko, paprika, garlic salt, and pepper in a shallow bowl. Remove chicken from marinade; season lightly with salt and pepper. Dredge/press chicken into panko mixture, shaking off excess. Working in 2 batches and maintaining oil temperature, fry chicken until golden brown, crisp, and cooked through, about 3 minutes per side and internal temperature reaches 165 degrees F. Transfer chicken to a paper towel–lined baking sheet to drain.

Split biscuits and spread each side with 1 tablespoon reserved honey butter. Build sandwiches with biscuits, chicken, and hot sauce.

gochujang

The last 3 years have transpired in over 25 million imperceptible breaths. Some spent in our very first home together in the dingy fourplex on McClendon. Some on a bike, whizzing speedily to and fro from class. Some in the summer sun, enjoying the absurdity that I am still a student into my mid twenties. Some filling out bubble after bubble on yet another Scantron, hoping always for the elusive A’s. Some arrested in the awe of good food, damn good food, in this awesome city. Some so close to a patient’s breath that I don’t know how I never came down with something. Some sipping Little Matt’s “adult slushies,” El Tiempo margaritas, the good wine on a husBen-declared special occasion, or an Anvil cocktail. Some over cookies in any one of my last 3 kitchens, with one friend picking out the nuts and another eating the dough straight out of the bowl. Some over tears, spilled onto textbooks or even more desperately onto dog-scratched hardwood floors. Some excitedly behind a mask in the OR. Some heavily confused in deep discussion over some passage in the Bible. Some running miles and miles around Rice University, Memorial trail, or in Temple with my in-laws. Some held, forgetting to exhale, under a short white coat, presenting to an attending. Some at the end of hard days wherein I habitually voice my gratitude with an “Ahhhh, beeeeeed.”

Some looking up at the Houston skyline with quiet appreciation, thinking, “This! This is my city.”

All these breaths have sustained me up to the present. Each of these moments culminates into the cognizance of who I am right now, a person appreciative of my privilege to be here.

I am excited to start the next phase of life and pour myself into something so wholeheartedly again. And friends, I am just so glad the stress of unknowing is past us.

My parents were in town this weekend for all the hoopla, so we took them to Underbelly for dinner Friday night. We ordered Korean braised goat and dumplings to start, as this is one of my un-contested favorite dishes in Houston. Gochujang is a savory and tangy red pepper paste used in the sauce, so I bought some at the grocery store in attempt to incorporate these flavors into something at home. My little brother and husBen ate my efforts right up (via meatballs) so I think I can say I had a little success at least.

Korean style Gochujang Meatballs

Meatballs

3
 green onions, very thinly sliced

3
 garlic cloves, minced

1 
egg, lightly beaten

1 
pound ground beef

½ cup panko breadcrumbs

2
 tablespoons gochujang (Korean chili paste)

1
 tablespoon fresh ginger, grated or minced

1
 teaspoon kosher salt

½ teaspoon freshly ground pepper

3-4
 tablespoons canola oil, for pan-frying

Glaze

2/3
 cup apricot preserves

2
 tablespoons gochujang (Korean chili paste)

1 ½ tablespoon rice vinegar

1 ½ tablespoon soy sauce

Garnish

1 green onion, thinly sliced

sesame seeds, toasted

Preheat oven to 350° F. In large bowl, combine all meatball ingredients except oil (gently, do NOT overmix!).  The key to good meatballs is not to over mix them. Form meat mixture into golf-ball sized meatballs.

Heat oil in large skillet over medium-high/high heat. Brown the meatballs in 2 batches (so they don’t get crowded) on all sides. Transfer meatballs to rimmed baking pan and transfer to oven. Bake about 10 minutes or until internal temperature reaches 160° F.

Meanwhile, in small saucepot, combine all glaze ingredients. Cook over medium heat 5 minutes or until mixture is slightly thickened.

To serve, brush meatballs with glaze and sprinkle with green onion and sesame seeds.

Adapted slightly from Food52