What makes you an adult?
Is it getting married? It is having your first
job? Is it living in a house with a lawn (that we are supposed to be mowing
ourselves, what is that about?)? Is it marked by some sort of age-acquired
wisdom that only develops in a person over time that allows them to start
acting in a responsible, future-centric way? I mean, what are we striving for
here?
Ben started his first job last week. I do not
think anything has changed in his demeanor, although his attitude towards the
opportunity to work may have shifted. Having a job probably feels more like a
privilege on a pedestal when you are a good 3 feet (or 3 months) away from it,
not as much when you are still sitting at this coveted job’s desk at midnight.
At least he looks good in a suit and can still birdie a hole anytime he
actually makes it out to the golf course.
It is bizarre to me to acknowledge that this is
the beginning of a new stage of life for him/us, as I still feel so young. I
used to imagine that future landmarks—graduation, marriage, first job, first
kid—would be met by some older, wiser version of myself, but since hitting a
few of those have learned otherwise. We are in constant evolution, a dynamic that
guarantees to keep us wondering: how would I approach this (any) situation if I
were 10 years down the road? How would I structure my priorities, and what
influences would inform my decision making then? Realistically, I know that no
static self of mine will ever make all the best decisions. There is no reaching
personal perfection or frame of thought which lends itself to absolute right
living. We can only approach life as who we are in that day or year, and hope
that our older self’s hindsight will be kind in the interpretation of our
youth.
I am trying to stay cognizant of where I am as
well…and that is my 4th year of medical school…wherein the advice I
have received most consistently is to “have fun.” Never again will I have 3
months off during my academic year (wait, never again will I have an academic
year). This season of life has been busy thus far, but after I turn in my
application to residency on Sunday, I hope to ease into it with newfound peace.
I do not promise to slow down, but I do promise to say yes to more fun, more
friends and family, more being present.
I think we might survive this embrace with
adulthood quite well actually…
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