monday

Sometimes the only decision we are allowed to make is the way we will choose to react to something. Certain moments in life may cause us to feel so trapped in error or oppressed the gods-of-wrong-doing that we want to just curl up in fetal position and cry a little. Today was my first day of research…and today I was afforded such a moment on the edge*. Thankfully I did not end up on the floor (hospital carpet, eww) but instead decided to pause, take a deep breath, and tell myself: “despite all the hours of inputting the data that just poofed away on my computer, I still gained facility and efficiency with this program that had at first overwhelmed me. I learned a lot and built up some confidence. At least I have that (even though I do not have any physical proof of my efforts since that dang Save button did NOT in fact save any of the information I spent the entire day inputting, geez).

Stress relief? My mamma trained me in the thought that generosity begets joy, so I am employing that in the most immediate way possible right now…through feeding others. It genuinely lifts my spirits to bake/cook something for a friend or even a random neighbor. Here are some super easy brownies to whip up and distribute to soothe even the slightest disturbance of your day.

*in hindsight, I realize the limited perspective of my momentary angst- I know my life is overall a blessed piece of cake compared to the rest of the world

Best Cocoa Brownies

10 tablespoons (1 ¼ sticks) unsalted butter

1 ¼ cups sugar

¾ cup plus 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder (natural or Dutch-process)

½ teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

2 cold large eggs

½ cup all-purpose flour

¾ cup walnut or pecans, or mix of both

Position a rack in the lower third of the oven and preheat the oven to 325°F. Line the bottom and sides of the baking pan with parchment paper, leaving an overhang on two opposite sides.

Combine the butter, sugar, cocoa, and salt in a medium heatproof bowl and set the bowl over a double broiler. Stir from time to time until the butter is melted and the mixture is smooth and hot enough that you want to remove your finger fairly quickly after dipping it in to test. Remove the bowl from the skillet and set aside briefly until the mixture is only warm, not hot.

Stir in the vanilla with a wooden spoon. Add the eggs one at a time, stirring vigorously after each one. When the batter looks thick, shiny, and well blended, add the flour and stir until you cannot see it any longer, then beat vigorously for 40 strokes with the wooden spoon or a rubber spatula. Stir in the nuts, if using. Spread evenly in the lined pan.

Bake until a toothpick plunged into the center emerges slightly moist with batter, 20 to 25 minutes. Let cool completely on a rack.

Lift up the ends of the parchment or foil liner, and transfer the brownies to a cutting board. Cut into 16 or 25 squares.

Closely adapted from Epicurious, November 2003