“learning how to make toast is burning bread minus 5 seconds”

I have not had a day off since the 4^th of July. I am not complaining; in fact there is some pride in that confession. husBen has been non-stop studying for this Bar so I feel okay working hard too. In fact, I like it. I veer towards feeling guilty when I am home. Can you see where this is headed?

HusBen’s diligence comes to fruition this week as he is 2 days down into his 3 day Bar exam!! He maybe feels a little crazy, but I affirm him that he is just feeling the weight of genius; no one should feel sane under that much duress…or you might actually lack real sanity. He finishes tomorrow then has a month of freedom that will hopefully quell all fears that he has lost touch with reality (although such intense focus does kind of demand that you loosen your real world requirements). 

I just started my pediatric surgery rotation at Texas Children’s Hospital and found this amazing woman surgeon that is just an absolute gem. She is one of those people who immediately garner respect by her posture towards the patient, by her willingness to look you (a mere student) in the eye and care that you are really learning and not just nodding your head in submission. I admire her skill paired with this brilliance-by-subtlety kind of attitude. She just down right makes me excited about my next month of “work.”

Here is where the toast aphorism comes in. I am kind of an intense personality type (not usually brash and outspoken, but more like aggressive towards life and daylight hours). Although I am quite sure she meant to suggest an ability to learn from our mistakes, when this famed woman surgeon said to me “learning how to make toast is burning bread minus 5 seconds,” my mind thought of temperance, of intentional moderation, of gentleness that I admittedly lack (and Ben has thankfully lacked during his Bar preparation).  Sometimes we run so hard in one direction that we forget that the world itself is running as well, with our friends and family running their own races, in which we would be privileged to participate.

I do not expect myself to stop burning (burning up my energy that is, hopefully not burning food…since I seem to be on a cooking hiatus). I just hope this work/life balance concept dawns on me soon enough that I learn how to continue this zeal for a lifetime. Or at least until I am 85. 

I plan to recuperate this weekend with husBen. I promise this will yield some sort of fabulous food that I can once again be excited to share with you people. Until then, eat these words: live life exhaustively and with enough energy to love your people well!