will power

I recently heard an intriguing lecture on “Neuroscience and the Law.” I gathered at the beginning of the lecture that this very young and energetic PhD was not an advocate of free will (based on his extensive study of the mind’s strong roots in the physical anatomy of the brain). He presupposed that enough of our drives are inaccessible that free will, if it exists, may be a bit player (so much happens under the security clearance of our choosing).

I began to wonder, in the representative democracy of my brain (or your brain), which influence prevails most often? If in the neural parliament sat the gamut of political parties (say, the long-termers, the immediate-gratifiers, the lovers, the reasoners, the dictators), whose voice is the loudest?

Salted Caramel Ice Cream with Cocoa Brownie Chunks

hard not to eat all these before they go in

ready to churn

$$ this is about all you need $$

Time-out from the esoteric. This lecture happened at noon. Noon as in lunch-time…or ice cream time if there is a good gallon in your freezer. Sometimes I wonder how strong my free will actually is when I am holding a spoon and an open container of ice cream.

this ice cream is rich $$$

2 cups whole milk

1 tbsp + 1 tsp cornstarch

3 tbsp cream cheese, softened

½ tsp fine sea salt

1 ¼ cups heavy cream

2 tbsp light corn syrup

2/3 cup sugar

2 tsp vanilla extract

In a small bowl, mix 2 tbsp milk with cornstarch to make a smooth slurry. Set aside. In a separate (medium) bowl, whisk cream cheese and salt until smooth. In a measuring cup with a spout, mix the cream with the corn syrup. Fill a large bowl with ice and water.

Heat the sugar in a 4-quart saucepan over medium heat until melted and golden amber in color (to do this effectively, add the sugar and then don't touch with a spatula until there is a full layer of melted and browning liquid sugar on the bottom with a small layer of unmelted white sugar on top. When the melted sugar edges start to darken, use the spatula to push the edges to the center to help everything finish melting. When it looks about like the color of a penny, turn off the heat.

Once caramel is removed from heat, stir constantly and add a bit of the cream/corn syrup mixture to the caramel (warning: it will fizzle and pop!).  Keep adding the cream a little bit at a time until it is all incorporated.

Return the pan to medium-high heat and add the milk. Bring mixture to a rolling boil and boil for 4 minutes. Remove from heat and whisk in the cornstarch slurry.

Bring the mixture back to a boil over medium-high and cook for 1 minute until slightly thickened, stirring with a heatproof spatula. Remove from heat.

Pour in the cream cheese mixture and whisk until smooth. Pour the hot mixture into a gallon-sized Ziploc bag and seal before submerging in the bowl of ice and water. Allow to stand, adding more ice if necessary, for 30 minutes or until cold (I put the whole bowl in the fridge).

Pour liquid (or cut off the corner of the ziplock) into ice cream maker and churn according to manufacturer instructions. Before you pack ice cream into a storage container, gently stir in brownie bits*. Freeze until firm, at least 4 hours.

*Brownie Bits

I made half a recipe of Best Cocoa Brownies (off epicurious or you can search this blog). Make sure to half the cooking time as well.

Disclaimer: On a more humanistic/spiritual scale, I definitely believe in free will. How else can my loves of God and man matter?

chilly

It’s starting to get chilly enough around here that I am actually contemplating turning off the air-conditioning. Heck maybe I’ll even crank up the knob on the gas fireplace (Quimby really loves that) until it either heats up our whole apartment (which would take all of 4 minutes) or until one of us starts to get a headache (which would make me think carbon monoxide poisoning and confirm my fears that I don’t know exactly how to work this retro fireplace). Tis’ the season I suppose.

I recall winters in Waco being pretty rough. We must have been trying to save all our money (at the sacrifice of our comfort) because I remember the psychological warfare come December when we would wait to see who would turn on the heater first (and therefore label themselves as weakest and most self-indulgent). Maybe I imagined all that…but I still kept my distance from the thermostat. I thought if I wore sweatpants and two pairs of socks to bed then I could spend the money I saved on a nice meal at Diamondbacks Steakhouse. First world problems, I know, I know.

Here’s a tasty and cheap way to warm up, a true favorite from frigid winters at Baylor!

Ginger Honey Lemon Tea

Literally, just that. Cut up a few chunks of fresh ginger root and toss into a coffee cup with the juice of half a lemon (I like to leave a wedge of lemon in the tea for more flavor) and an overflowing teaspoon of honey. Fill with water and microwave until boiling hot. Stir it up and sip slowly…

bottom of the cup...

good study sipper

thanksgiving

Today I write with gratitude:

For the privileged life I lead. For my handsome husband that loves the same God I do. For my adventuresome, loving, generous family (celebrating without me today). For getting the opportunity to go to medical school. For the best dog in the world who daily nurtures my soul. For really quality friends. For the in-laws I never imagined could be so ideal.

We can often stop and acknowledge how truly blessed and privileged (and “1%” compared to the rest of the world) we are. But today let’s make it big. Let’s celebrate with gusto and eat with sincere thanks and swelling love for those around us. Happy Thanksgiving!

Pancetta Sage Turkey

I made this Turkey for a pot-luck we had on 
Monday night with many of our good friends. 
Times like that sure make medical school fun :)

Pancetta-Sage Butter:

4 garlic cloves, peeled

4 ounces thinly sliced pancetta (Italian bacon), chopped

1/4 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 tablespoons minced shallot

1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary

1 tablespoon chopped fresh sage

2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper

Turkey:

1 14- to 16-pound turkey, rinsed, patted dry inside and out

8 fresh sage sprigs

4 fresh rosemary sprigs

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 cups Turkey Stock 

Gravy:

1/2 cup diced thinly sliced pancetta (Italian bacon; about 3 ounces)

1/4 cup chopped shallots

1/4 cup all purpose flour

3 cups Turkey Stock

1 cup dry white wine

1 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary

1 teaspoon chopped fresh sage

For pancetta-sage butter:


With machine running, drop garlic down feed tube of processor and chop. Add pancetta. Pulse to chop finely. Add all remaining ingredients. Pulse blending to coarse paste. Transfer to small bowl. DO AHEAD: Can be made 2 days ahead. Cover and chill. Bring to room temperature before using.

For turkey:


Set rack at lowest position in oven and preheat to 325°F. Sprinkle main turkey cavity with salt and pepper. Spread with 2 tablespoons pancetta-sage butter. Starting at neck end, slide hand between skin and meat of breast, thighs, and upper drumsticks to loosen skin. Spread remaining butter over thighs, drumsticks, and breast meat under skin. Fill main cavity with herb sprigs. Tie legs loosely to hold shape. Tuck wing tips under.

Place turkey on rack set in large roasting pan. Rub turkey all over with oil; sprinkle with salt and pepper. Pour 2 cups stock into pan.

Roast turkey until thermometer inserted into thickest part of thigh registers 165°F to 170°F, about 3 hours. Tilt turkey so juices run into pan. Transfer turkey to platter. Tent with foil; let rest at least 30 minutes (temperature will rise 5 to 10 degrees). Reserve pan.

For gravy:


Scrape juices and browned bits from roasting pan into large glass measuring cup. Spoon off fat. Reserve 2 tablespoons. Heat 2 tablespoons reserved fat in large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add pancetta; sauté until beginning to crisp, about 5 minutes. Add shallots; sauté 1 minute. Reduce heat to medium. Add flour; whisk until golden, about 4 minutes. Whisk in 3 cups stock, wine, and degreased pan juices. Bring to boil, whisking. Cook to desired consistency, about 5 minutes. Whisk in rosemary and sage; season to taste with salt and pepper.

the real romance

Well, Ben and I are newly-weds again…after renewing our vows at the wedding we attended in Austin this past Saturday night. I was not even aware that vows expire, but on Stephanie’s prompting (and impression that all the other marrieds were doing it), we stood up at the wedding when the priest made the offer. Truly though, our chosen professions may keep us in love forever if there is any merit to the saying “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I partially thank our busy schedules for allowing us to appreciate the time we actually do get to spend together. I feel “in love” with husBen like it is June 5, 2010 all over again…now where should we fly for the honeymoon?

But most reverently speaking of intense love, I had the chance to see my old theology professor from high school, Mr. Shimek, and his wife at the wedding. Mrs. Shimek was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) 5 or 6 years ago and has since progressed in the way that most ALS patients do.  Mr. Shimek’s devotion to Mrs. Shimek nearly made Ben and I want to cry. He stood by her in the back during the ceremony and fed her patiently during the reception. I am sure he helps her do most everything and I am certain she is worth it. Ben’s eyes would find Mr. Shimek throughout the night and once he leaned over to me and said with genuine emotion, “He is like Noah from the Notebook.” Mr. Shimek lives out the “In sickness and in health” part of the vows most of us hope we never encounter (and certainly do not bank on the implications of in the surreal, romantic moment at the alter). I feel blessed just to have witnessed his loving devotion and unwavering attention to his true love at this wedding. 

transients appreciated

One of my roommates at Baylor briefly dated this total foodie. He would do things like drive to Austin for “good ingredients” and make ice creams in the flavors of balsamic and basil. Even though I did not much like him as a match for my best friend, I do still appreciate a few things he taught me in the kitchen AND for introducing me to black truffles. He went on to culinary school at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris…only to eventually drop out and pursue some philosophy degree. I suppose culinary school is not for everyone (like, hey, me) but we can all appreciate those transient fellows who teach us pearls like how to fry sage into our eggs and properly clean a cast iron skillet. Thanks bo'freen.

Sage and Gouda Breakfast Tarts

Pie crust to fill 4 tartelette pans

4 thick slices of gouda

4 teaspoons fresh chopped sage

4 eggs

2 tablespoons heavy cream, divided

Salt and pepper

Whole sage leaves to garnish

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Roll out pie dough and cut to fit your tartelette pans (mine were about 4 inch pans). Spray pans with Baker Joy (or grease with butter) then press dough into pans. Prick the bottom with a fork. Fill with pie weights (which I resourcefully substituted with mason jar lids) and bake until tart shells are set, about 8 minutes. Remove weights and continue baking until pie shells are golden, about 5 more minutes.

Remove tart shells from the oven. Lay the gouda on the bottom of each tart shell and sprinkle with 1 teaspoon of chopped sage each. Crack an egg into each shell and pour ½ tablespoon cream over each egg. Sprinkle salt and pepper over each tart and return to oven for 13-15 more minutes (or until the egg whites are set and the yolk is still a little runny). Remove from oven and allow to cool for about 5 minutes before you remove each tart from its pan. Garnish with sprigs of sage and serve warm with a bacon salad to turn this into more of a meal. Serves 4.

Gingersnaps

 

Recipe from Gourmet magazine

Ingredients:

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 1/2 teaspoons ground ginger

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

1 cup packed brown sugar

1 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup) unsalted butter

1/4 cup unsulfured molasses

1 large egg

parchment paper

1/4 cup granulated sugar

Directions:

Into a large bowl sift together 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons flour, baking soda, and spices and whisk in brown sugar. In a small saucepan melt butter and whisk into flour mixture with molasses and egg until combined well. With a wooden spoon stir in remaining 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons flour until combined well. Chill dough, covered, until firm, at least 1 hour, and up to 2 days.

Preheat oven to 350°F. and line baking sheets with parchment paper.

Roll level tablespoons of dough into balls and in a small bowl roll balls in granulated sugar to coat. Arrange balls about 2 inches apart on baking sheets and bake in batches in middle of oven until flattened and a shade darker, 10 to 12 minutes. (Cookies will puff slightly and then collapse slightly, and tops will be covered with little cracks.) Cool cookies on baking sheets 2 minutes and transfer with a spatula to racks to cool completely. Cookies keep in an airtight container at room temperature 5 days.

dear time,

Most of our walls are filled with art; things we have collected over the years or made ourselves, things gifted us by talented loved ones, and diplomas we once earned. There is, however, a big blank space over our television. A blank wall that I once meant to fill. It really used to bother me when I was nesting (oh dear summer following marriage, I should have appreciated you more). Now I do not have so much time to worry about that stark white space; in fact, I only notice it when I am bored. I used to really concern myself over all I could put there: the perfect painting, shelves with cool old hardbacks, a marlin, or even a giant mural (that I even so ambitiously thought I might paint). The truth is I suspect that wall will stay blank until we move out of this beloved little space. On that day I will sigh with acknowledgement, having always known I would never find that perfect finishing piece—time just passes too quickly.

Can you even believe next week is Thanksgiving?

served on my grandmother Nell's famous rolls,
with pecans from her orchard that we shelled together this weekend

Cranberry Pecan Chicken Salad

2 chicken breasts (boneless, skinless)


½ cup pecans, toasted and roughly chopped


1/3 cup granny apple, diced into tiny chunks

½ cup dried cranberries, roughly chopped


1 shallot, minced


1/3 cup Greek yogurt


2 tablespoons light mayo 


2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar (add more if you like)

1 teaspoon orange juice

1 tablespoon oregano, minced

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Rub chicken breasts with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast for 35 minutes until chicken is cooked through. Shred in your kitchen aid (or dice up into little tiny pieces). Set aside to cool.

Mix together greek yogurt, mayo, apple cider vinegar, orange juice and oregano.

In a large bowl, combine shredded chicken (about 2 cups), pecans, shallots, green apple, and cranberries. Toss with dressing until well combined. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Chill for 1 hour then enjoy!

cornbread baked in roasted red bell pepper with shredded spice rubbed chicken and guacamole

How's that for a recipe title? Really I just started getting creative in the kitchen after I asked Ben what he wanted for dinner and all he said was "guacamole?" Here is a dish built around that request. 

Cut 2 red bell peppers in half. Fill with corn bread batter (recipe below). Top with guacamole and shredded chicken (recipe below) and garnish with cilantro. Serve hot.

Fatten-Ben-Up Cornbread:

1 cup yellow corn meal

1/3 cup flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

½ heaping teaspoon salt

2/3 cup whole milk

1 egg

3 tablespoons shortening (I did 2 tablespoons shortening + 1 tablespoon bacon grease)

1 teaspoon sugar

Preheat oven to 450. Combine above dry ingredients. Combine wet ingredients in a separate bowl then beat into dry ingredients. Pour into red bell pepper “cups” and bake for about 20 minutes.

Shredded Chicken

I learned this great trick for perfectly restaurant style shredded chicken! Roast two boneless skinless chicken breasts (I rubbed mine with a Southwest Chipotle Rub first) on 375 F for about 20-30 minutes (for more moist chicken, pour about ½ an inch of chicken broth in the pan with your chicken). When chicken is cooked through, pour chicken and juice in your kitchenaid with the normal paddle attachment; turn it on low speed and watch it shred right up!

Southwest Chipotle Rub

1/3 cup brown sugar, packed

2 ½ tablespoons finely ground coffee grounds

2 tablespoons salt

1 ½ tablespoons granulated dry garlic

1 tablespoon paprika

1 ½ teaspoons dried oregano leaves

1/3 cup Tabasco brand chipotle pepper sauce

dada

You know that stage of life when you realize your parents are wiser than you, that they are not trying to ruin your life and in fact trying to salvage it from your small-minded intentions? Well I remember it too—I hit it in high school.

I am now hitting a second stage of life where I realize my parents might be cooler than me—or at least they are having more fun than me right now.

We spent this past weekend in Lamar/Rockport with my parents for my dad’s 53^rd birthday*. We ate too much good food, drank great wine, and in general just enjoyed some quality family time. I find it necessary to catch up on my parents’ lives in their actual presence, as they are nearly unreachable via the telephone. They are always on the run: at this board meeting or social function, busy at the clinic, at bible study or on random weekend getaways, tucked inside an art gallery or home store, or out working on one of their various projects. Their creativity and energy flow almost synergistically in a way that keeps them young I think. I am always thankful for those moments we can slow down a little (and they can slow down a lot) in order to just sit around the kitchen table and talk. So Happy Birthday Dada, and thanks for such an opportunity.

*November 12 also happens to be Ryan Gosling’s birthday! We tried not to celebrate this too openly...

football and beer (sort of)

After playing three straight games of flag football last night, Ben and I are fairly sore. Our team of 2^nd year medical school students + Ben made it to the playoffs… which meant we had to continue playing until we lost. Thankfully, we finally got to go home when a fresh young group of Baylor College of Medicine first years out-ran and out-threw us (for two reasons: 1) they are only first years so their brains are lighter, and 2) because we were all delusional from lack of sugar or water for 4 hours…I mean really, we were pretty punch drunk at this point). On a positive note, I am taking Ben’s ability to play such an aggressive sport as flag football (real intense) as yet another sign of his health. In fact, next time he brings up a random illness he might have (tumor, diabetes, lymphoma), I will make sure to remind him of the three or so touchdowns he made last night after sprinting down a field in 50 degree weather.

Still on my mission to fatten him up though…

LAURA'S AMAZING JALAPENO BEER BREAD

cheers

yes, that much butter...and yes, it will most likely overflow

winner

3 cups all-purpose flour

3 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. salt

1/4 cups sugar

1/4 cups pickled jalapenos, chopped

1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

12 oz., fluid beer (one can)*

1/2 cup melted butter

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Measure and then sift the flour, baking powder, sugar and salt into a mixing bowl. The sifting will improve the texture of the bread (so do it!). Add the chopped jalapenos and cheddar cheese. Pour one can of beer into the mixing bowl and mix until blended (I used Shiner because Mrs. Laura is from Shiner, TX where the brewery stands). Pour mixture into a greased loaf pan. Pour melted butter over mixture. This will seem like too much butter, but do not remove any of it! Bake one hour or until golden brown. You might want to put a pan under the loaf in case it over bakes the pan (and mine did…thank goodness for that pan). Cool for 5-10 minutes. Remove from pan and cool an additional 5-10 minutes. Slice and enjoy.

crock-potted ribs

I still remember when we bought my mom her first crock-pot. I do not know how she thrived for so long in her wifey career without one. AND she is from Louisiana. AND she grew up Southern Baptist. AND she has sons (who think Velveeta is real cheese). Each of the previously mentioned is a risk factor for owning a crock-pot, and yet my mother still did not have one (proudly I am sure).

Anyway, she sent us to HEB to buy her one and we definitely took advantage of this christening situation; we came back with the biggest one we could find, all white and fancy like, decorated with cartoon cows and strawberry patches on it. Needless to say, she sent us right back for a stainless steel one. C’mon mom, embrace the crock-pot.

Below is a recipe for ribs in the crock-pot. Yes, ribs. A man dish, womanized. 

the rub

finger licking good!

falling off the bone

           

¼ cup paprika

¼ cup packed brown sugar

¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper

2 teaspoons kosher salt

1 teaspoon cracked pepper

1 ½ teaspoon garlic powder

2 ½ pounds ribs (or however big 1 rack is)

1 cup of your favorite barbecue sauce

In a small bowl, combine paprika, brown sugar, cayenne pepper, salt, pepper, and garlic powder to make dry rub. Liberally rub spice mixture on all sides of ribs.

Prop ribs into slow cooker (crock-pot) against the sides and leaning in like a tent. Pour the barbecue sauce over the ribs. Cook in slow cooker on high for 7-8 hours or until ribs are cooked through and falling off the bone.

Preheat broiler. Line a cookie sheet with foil (easier clean-up later!) and transfer ribs to it, meaty side up. Ladle some of the sauce and drippings from the crock-pot over your ribs.

Place ribs under broiler for about 5 or so minutes or until caramelized. You can pull the cookie sheet out once during the broiling process to ladle on more syrupy sauce from the crock-pot if you like.

Serve hot, with some bread to soak up the sauce!

home girl

fresh camo- notice the sticker still on the shirt 

Ben went hunting this weekend at our family ranch in Terryville, a place I appreciate for its fields of yellow flowers in the spring and piercingly bright stars at night…. and he appreciates for its deer and duck. He went with our good friend Mitchell—who actually knows how to hunt/is an Eagle Scout—so worry did not exacerbate my feeling of missing him.  I realized it is just not as much fun to stay home in your sweat pants on a Saturday night with a good bottle of wine and a movie when you are the only one doing it. Sure, Quimby was by my side, but I was still just a girl in her sweat pants with her loyal and loving dog.

Have you ever seen Fantastic Mr. Fox? It is definitely my favorite Wes Anderson film, with its existentialistic undertones and little philosophies on life. Below are my two most loved scenes (that I will spare you my rambling review of and let you digest at will):

Fantastic Mr. Fox and Kylie the opossum

FMF: [deep sigh]. Who am I Kylie?

K: Who, how, what now?

FMF: Why a fox? Why not a horse, or a beetle or a bald eagle? I am saying this more as, like, existentialism, you know? Who am I? And how can a fox ever be happy without, you’ll forgive the expression, a chicken in its teeth?

K: I don’t know what you’re talking about but it sounds illegal.

FMF: And so it begins.

Last toast:

FMF: When I look down this table with the exquisite feast set before us, I see two terrific lawyers, a skilled pediatrician, a wonderful chef, a savvy real estate agent, an excellent tailor, a crack accountant, a gifted musician, pretty good minnow fisherman, and quite possibly the best landscape painter working on the scene today. Maybe a few of you might even read my column from time to time, but who knows; I tend to doubt it.

I also see a room full of wild animals. Wild animals with true natures and pure talents. Wild animals with scientific sounding Latin names that mean something about our DNA. Wild animals each with his own strengths and weaknesses due to his or her species. Anyway, I think it may very well be all the beautiful differences among us that might just give us the tiniest glimmer of chance of saving my nephew and letting me make it up to you for getting us into this crazy whatever-it-is. I don’t know; it’s just a thought. Thank you for listening. Cheers everyone. 

passion

An old friend came to visit last night with the intention of checking out medical school. He came to class with me this morning and we chatted intermittently about my experience thus far: subject matter, patient interaction, personality of the school, etc. What I found myself conveying to him though was the passion I believe is required to invest in a profession this demanding. We are asked to sacrifice much of our younger years (time we could be spending on valuable relationships with our family and spouse) in order to one day become good doctors. Why do we do it then? Because it is our passion! We cannot help but wholeheartedly pursue something if we find within it our purpose (“it” here hopefully applies to whatever path in life you have chosen really). Learning is my most tangible passion at this point—behind Ben, who is behind God—and I truly believe my desire for a future in medicine is rooted in the sense of purpose I garner from persistent dedication to it.

I know I am young, but I do hope this passion lasts awhile (at least past the hazing that is medical school) so that I can do something worthwhile in the world besides make grades. Until then, I suppose I will just keep studying…

If you like Artichokes, this is a winner. Only after making it did we both realize we don’t actually like artichokes…

Artichoke and Roasted Garlic Dip 
Serves 5 to 7

1 head garlic, top sliced off
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
14 oz can artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
2 green onions, thinly sliced
8 ounces mascarpone, softened
1/3 c light mayonnaise
½ cup part-skim mozzarella, shredded
¼ cup parmesan, grated
2 tablespoons hot sauce
2 teaspoon dry mustard
salt and pepper to taste

        topping:

1/3 cup panko breadcrumbs
1 tablespoon parmesan, grated
1 ½ tablespoons butter, melted

Preheat oven to 375°F. Place the head of garlic onto a small piece of aluminum foil, drizzle with olive and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Loosely wrap the foil around the garlic and roast in the oven for about 45 minutes or until the garlic cloves have softened completely and slightly browned. Carefully squeeze the clove into a bowl and discard the peel. Mash the cloves into a paste and stir in the remaining dip ingredients. Season with salt and pepper. Stir the mixture until fully incorporated. Scoop the dip into a 3 cup baking dish of your choice and set aside. In a small bowl toss together the topping ingredients and sprinkle over the dip filled ramekin. Bake in the oven for 20 to 25 minutes or until the top is golden brown. Allow to cool for a few minutes before serving with pita chips. Adapted only slightly from spoonforkbacon.com